Thursday, May 30, 2013

Digging in the DIRT...again????

I need to publicly offer a huge THANK YOU to the individual who has chosen to repeatedly report claims about us to our local children and youth!!!! If it were not for you we would not have ever had so many amazing opportunities to show just how FANTASTIC this Fasnacht Family truly is!!!!!

Thank you for giving us a chance to totally brag about what an amazing Father and Husband Ryan is! By claiming that he is not involved and hardly ever home CYA was able to hear all the wonderful stories that our therapy team were more then glad to share...such as how Ryan comes home at lunch to not only help with school transport but with lunch prep and spends those few extra minutes with the children...or how his "many trips" were actually 2 trips one to Ethiopia to adopt our daughter and one to Honduras through Compassion International paired with the company that he is employed by!...or how truly impressed our BSC is with how involved Ryan is with our behavior plans for the children!!!!!

Thank you for giving us a chance to show how far and wide we have searched, and are continuing to search, for help for our children with needs! Your claims that our discipline was harsh and our sleeping arrangements were wrong opened doors for social workers to learn what home life looks like raising children with traumatic pasts! CYA was thrilled with the amount of services we have taken advantage of! Our pediatrician, BSC, MT, TSS, Trauma therapist, and staff at Hershey medical were MORE THEN HAPPY to share their thoughts and opinions on the subject...and lets just say they made us shine!!!!

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to meet an amazing social worker at Hershey Medical Center!!! Though you may think that I am going against medical advice by not having my sons tonsils out the Drs were VERY QUICK to clarify that there were more tests that needed done and the Dr performing the surgery still has questions regarding the safety of the procedure! Honestly how am I to remove tonsils...I am SO NOT a Dr!!!! I loved getting to spend HOURS on the phone making sure that I was in no way harming my child (just to make sure) by not having his tonsils out yet!

Thank you for the ability to educate children and youth of Food Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES) and how a bolus feed works, by questioning why Selah is not "hooked up" 24 hours a day I was able to share that she eats four times a day 200ml at a time over the course of 45 mins...this will teach her that there are "eating times" so she does not completely forget how to "eat". The social worker found everything very interesting and thought that Selah looked very healthy. This social worker will now be BLESSED to meet Dr Ammons when she verifies my words tomorrow!!!!

Thank you for sharing your concern that Selah had tasted a strawberry! I may very well have been concerned as well if it had not been under medical direction that we trialed strawberries. For your information after our official diagnosis Selah has tried (and failed) pedilyte, bananas, and strawberries...which means that after a period of time her body decided that the food is a dangerous substance and rejects it. Her reactions could be as mild as an elevated WBC and loose stool to a full reaction where she vomits to the point of dehydration and possible shock. I feel OVERLY BLESSED that your concern is spreading the news about FPIES!!!!!!!!

This blog is written in FULL TRANSPARENCY and TOTAL HONESTY I love spending time with individuals who are needing to learn of the love of Jesus and along with my children's needs comes a lot of people!!!!!! Thank you for bringing an entire other agency into our lives that we can hopefully impresses upon them the UNFAILING and EVER PRESENT love of our Jesus!!!!!!

My only fear in all of this is that there are truly needy families who would completely benefit from the services that CYA can provide...and because we are taking up so much of their time I fear that others may be missing out! I am very thankful for the therapy teams that we have worked with through out the years and especially how quickly they jumped into action to help protect us as a family and my children as individuals! I am sad to say that a couple of my children are really struggling with CYA involvement, though we have some over the top therapists who have given extra just to make sure they feel safe (even our trauma therapist who
had discharged our boys arranged an appointment RIGHT AWAY!!!!! that is Jesus is skin right there, pure love!!!)

Family and Friends as you read this PLEASE do not become upset with whoever has chosen to spend their time digging in the dirt. PLEASE start to pray for them RIGHT NOW!!!! I believe that this person or people really need to not only feel Jesus but to SEE JESUS!!!! Now trust me I have tried on the emotions of being angry, upset, embarrassed, hurt, ashamed...and then thankfulness...and I must say that thankfulness feels SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!

My prayer is that CYA will see the truth that God knows about our family, that where ever the calls are coming from God will send someone to meet them where they are at and help them begin to heal!!!! I pray for peace for this person or people I pray for strength for them I pray for protection from their lies!!!!! Please Lord forgive them for their claims against us as I am SURE you have forgiven me for feeling angry at them. I ask this NOW IN JESUS NAME AMEN!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Satan text me!!!!!

I believe that I must truly be on the right path...walking as closely (with human error) to Jesus as I can. I can feel Satan is attempting to attack me! I will not go into all the details but to sum it up two children in the ER was not bad enough I now have had a battle of words with someone in our lives. (I am leaving out ALL identifying information, I believe in transparency but NOT in destroying someone else so that I can move forward!). I think that it was Satan who sent me the text message saying "I think you need help. Amazing how all "your children" have mental or physical illnesses. Get yourself help..." I responded and said "thank you for showing me that a relationship with you at this time is not possible...I am sorry...I hope that someday in the future we are able to have an appropriate relationship"

These are snippets of the text chatting that took place this am. I have to say it caught me off guard and I immediately became hurt, disappointed, angry, and defensive. I felt the need to ensure that my love for my children was believed and heard! I wanted to defend our parenting, I wanted to so the medical documents supporting everything that has been happening in our home...but I didn't...I talked to a few friends...searched Bible gateway ;)...and came to the conclusion that I need to love this other person.

In loving them I blocked them on Facebook, so that they would not have to see when m family is going through. In loving them I left the door unlocked but closed it for now on our relationship, and n love I am committing to pray for them whenever I can.

 Will say that deciding to love and not freak out is NOT EASY and my body still aches with some of the things that were said. I truly value honesty and when someone questions mine it stings!!!! I was amazed though at the verse that God has literally shoved down my throat this hospital stay!!!!!

1Corithians 13...feel free to red it all ;) the parts that I am marinating in a the idea of truly sharing your love for Jesus needs to begin with loving others...even when it hurts...even when you are tired or weak...I even turned into a church service on tv this am that was ALL about exactly what God has been showing me this hospital stay!!!! All BEFORE satan text me!!!!! Wow God equips me for the struggles to come...what a comfort!!!!!!!!

Oh and side note...Paul in the Bible totally ROCKS! ;)

Disclaimer...when saying that satan text me I am in NO WAY saying that the person who is upset wit me is evil!!!!!!!!!! I am saying that satan is attempting to trip me up through this person...

Monday, May 13, 2013

Mom to Admire...

The frantic words of a panicked mother were heard by many in the early hours of May 13 2013. This "Mom to Admire" was a hot mess from 1:03 am until 1:45 am...

The Full Story...(I did not know all the details until the end...)

Around 12:30 am Ryan awoke to the sound of the basement door that leads to the first floor being kicked or punched. We routinely block the basement door due to the boys waking during the night and terrorizing the house, eating foods they are allergic to, just being untrustworthy. This is why our son was unable to get through the door. Ryan quickly turned on his cell phone and checked the camera that we have in the basement. This camera is great we are able to monitor the boys with out actually going down, so they do not really know that we are watching. Ryan watched as our son silently raged, calmed down, and returned himself to bed just before 1:00 am. At this point Ryan switched the camera to the record mode and then switched back so he could check again PANIC ONE OF THE BOYS WAS GONE AND THE BASEMENT DOOR WAS HANGING OPEN!!!!! Ryan jumped out of bed, fully clothed in his UNDERWEAR, and booked it through the house to the basement FULLY expecting that our son would be standing on the patio growling at him just looking for attention, he was NOT there. Ryan ran to the back yard, no child. He ran to the front of the house...because really our child WOULD NOT go further then this, right!...our little boy was not there or ANYWHERE ELSE to be seen. Ryan ran back into the house, threw on clothing awoke me grabbed a flashlight and ran back outside. I sprung awake grabbed a flashlight and went to the basement because my son HAD to be there Ryan MUST have missed something...I tore the room apart looking in places that made absolutely no sense. I ran out back and ran into my neighbors basement and started yelling for him...nothing...This is where I started to lose a bit of my mind and stopped dead in my tracks to ask the ONE AND ONLY who could tell me what to do. I PLEADED with Jesus to guide me like no other I need WISDOM NOW...I basically demanded that my son be fine and that this would be a story in the morning. The peace that came upon me is something that I cannot put into words, this is something that I have felt MANY times in the past, it honestly is as if Jesus steps down from Heaven grabs onto me as tight as He can. I instantly yelled to Ryan (who has been searching in the woods) that I am calling 911...the time stamp on my phone says 1:20 am, after talking with Ryan later we figured out that combined we had looked about 10 mins before I called...911 said they would send police to take a report. I then quickly ran to Amii and Travis' house and woke them up (TOTALLY by ringing the doorbell 4 or 5 times and banging on the door...sorry friends!!!!!) I was starting to panic and asked them to check their house. They quickly jump to it just as if he were their OWN child!!! Within minutes they were joined by Anthony and Britnee (more neighbors...oh and let me add my neighbors ARE family and ARE my village!!!!!) I honestly am not sure where everyone went but everyone scattered to search for my son. I called Beth to begin praying she headed our way. The police arrived at 1:24 and started collecting information...they were extremely kind but were moving slower then I could comprehend...I could NOT understand why they were worried about the spelling of our names while my little guys was GONE. I still felt the off sense of peace and knowledge that my little man was FINE just LOST. I cut the poor police officer off as he was insisting that the little guy was hiding in the house...and said something along the line of "I DON"T THINK YOU ARE LISTENING TO ME MY SON IS MISSING, HAS BEEN MISSING, IS IN PJS, AND I AM GETTING PANICKED THAT YOU ARE JUST TAKING NOTES" (caps needed...not my proudest moment). He seemed taken back by the now crazy mommy standing in front of him...I mean just a moment before I had been calm and compliant. He quickly followed me into the house and to the boys room and then understood how there was no way that he was in the house somewhere and started calling for a tracking dog...the first was a no go and he got visibly upset that they had said NO to sending the dog to find my LITTLE BOY! A second police officer made his way to the basement and assured me that they WOULD get a dog asap that they already had the fire rescue team on their way and they were gathering volunteers to begin searching after the dog did his thing...He asked if he could check the whole house...I said yes and just let him know the girls were sleeping upstairs. While in the basement I discovered that my son had wet his pants and taken them now I was not sure if he even had pants on and I found his sneakers so his feet were bare. More questions, more answers...I walked back upstairs and told my now awake other boys with me. The fire men were here asking questions, Britnee came in to be with me, right as the police officer was telling me that the dog was arriving and he was going outside to meet him a call came across the radio that my son had been found by and ambulance, he was FINE, and was on his way home!!!!!!!It was only 1:45 am!!!! I feel like God removed my ever calm presence to MAKE my voice be heard!!!! I honestly think that mondo crazy mom got the police moving at a MUCH faster rate!!!! They were all of a sudden taking me VERY seriously and if they had not called EVERYONE that ambulance would not have been in the right place at the right time!!!!

He was fine...hardly even cried...The police were very concerned for the panicked mommy ;)...stating that the level of stress that I had just endured was enough to send someone into cardiac arrest...LOL they MUST NOT read my blog ;)...They insisted that after I handed my little man off to Daddy that I be checked out. I was FINE totally FINE (like that word....God is GOOD all the time!!!!) Beth arrived and made sure all was well...everyone surrounded us as we let the dust settle a little and begin the healing from the burst of trauma that entered our home (or exited) at 1:00 am...Everyone slowly filed back into their cars and homes and Ryan and I settled in to talk with our son and see if he could explain at all why he would have run away.

We were fully expecting him to say he was "lost" and "scared"...that he started out mad or angry and then just got mixed up...but instead he very calmly explained that he chose to run away because he no longer wanted to be in our home that he would rather live at a hospital (He was found at Norlanco)...He said that he heard Travis, Anthony, Daddy, and Mommy yelling and that made him "run faster". He said he knew he was not allowed to cross the street but did because he wanted to leave. He said that he saw three police cars and one police truck with its lights on and hid so they could not find him...he sat down to rest and that is when the ambulance spotted him...he showed no signs of remorse or fear of what he had done. We explained how scared we were and how much we love him and would miss him so very much if anything happened to him. We had him finish the night sleeping in our room, where he will be sleeping until further notice. Ryan and I crawled into bed around 4:45 am.

I am mostly at a loss for what to think or feel about what happened last night. My body was wrecked with so many emotions and feelings that I am mostly numb as I type this. His behavior therapist is due to come at any moment and he is beginning rage #5 for the day.

If I take nothing else from this I can say to ANY unbelievers that Jesus IS real and IS here...That is the ONLY way that I made it though last night. My neighbors can never be re paid for how quickly and lovingly they surrounded us in this moment of need...In all he was gone for 45 mins and made it about 1/2 a mile from the house before being found. We are asking for everyone to join us in prayers for ANSWERS even if the answers are NOT what we want...

Before anyone chooses to look at me as a "Mom to Admire" MAKE SURE that you look at me as a HOT MESS!!!!!!!

Friday, May 10, 2013


Any of you who follow along with us on Facebook may have seen my prayer request from 5 hours ago asking...

"A very important e-mail was sent to Ethiopia last night!!!! I would love it if everyone would join me in praying that the RIGHT person receives it and is able to move this mountain !!!! We have SEEN God to bigger things then this!!!

2 HOURS AGO OUR PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED AND THE ANSWER WAS YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had not explained what the e-mail was about...WACAP was placing a special request for the embassy to begin the investigation on Hirite BEFORE June 6th. They were of NO obligation to do that. Procedure is that they begin the investigation AFTER the lab results are back....

Here is the EXCITING email that I got...

We heard back from the Embassy. They are willing to begin their investigation before waiting for sputum test
results. So that is great! How long it will be for all to be completed after the lab results are obtained will still be unknown. But at least we know they will expedite their process and are trying to help cut down on time."

SO I wanted to say a HUGE THANK YOU for everyone who joined us in asking for this to happen!!!!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, May 9, 2013

James:1 2-4

It is physically painful to type this...and yes I am being a bit dramatic...I just got a phone call from our adoption agency!!! When the number showed up I quickly answered it with full anticipation that I would be hearing my social worker squeal with joy that we would be traveling soon, or at least that our case has been approved and we need to talk about travel!! With how difficult life has felt here the past couple months I thought for sure that this was God sending a ray of hope my way, guiding me out of this all consuming darkness that has been closing in on me.

The first words out of her mouth were "This is NOT an exciting phone call" about a total joy kill, my heart dropped to my feet and I wanted to vomit all while driving my children home from their dentist appointment. What she went on to explain is that the embassy has not been giving them any straight answers as to what the hold up is with our case...and they finally just today got some answers. The embassy has decided, VERY RECENTLY, to change the long test from 8 weeks to 9 weeks

[Please pause here with me as I received a call from the school that one of my children was having behavioral difficulties and was not allowed onto the bus...had to pick him up and he is currently waiting for me to finish typing to find out what his punishment is]

anyway...they are changing the test from 8 to 9 weeks AND have changed it from children OVER age 10 to say children 10 and over!!! So this test that Truth did not have to wait on she now does. Her test was done on April 4th WACAP said that means that it will be complete June 6th and then the embassy will begin its process which can take a week to three weeks or MORE. WACAP is highly frustrated by this and are "in awe at how gracefully we are handling it all"

I would not call the emotions that I am feeling Grace...

I am reminded AGAIN of James 1 2-4
" Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

I am confident that God is shaping me into what He needs but it certainly is painful right now...

Please pray with us that Truth is CONFIDENT in our LOVE and DESIRE for her!!! That she is POSITIVE that we WILL return for her and that she is ABLE to SEE God in ALL this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The ring she is wearing in this phone was my "wedding ring" that I got and wore in Ethiopia I asked her to keep it safe for me!!!!)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013


I am struggling with the urge to write this. Worried that I am going to offend people, worried that I am going to upset my family, worried that my friends will look differently at me. I have been on the verge of this post for a while here it goes.

I feel so very very alone. I know that Jesus is here and I KNOW that I always have HIM. BUT while here on this earth I do wish that I did not feel so alone. I am the ONLY one who knows how to feed, change, or care for Selah's am alone. Maybe I am not ever physically alone, but I feel alone...alone on this path to finding answers as to why my child cannot eat, will not grow with out this elemental formula. The person I currently feel safest with is my children's pediatrician...isn't that sad. I feel like she is the only one who truly believe me, sees how difficult it is to walk Selah's path...she sees that the boys are ALWAYS needing my full attention and I cannot give it with Selah now needing ALL my attention...There have been many offers for help...and please do not think that those have gone unnoticed I am VERY APPRECIATIVE of EVERYONE who has helped with anything!!! I just am just left feeling alone...

I feel alone because these things that I encounter are an everyday all day no end in sight kind of things...and help is offered like what is offered for a new mother just coming home from the hospital.

EVERYDAY I am beaten up, spit on, talked back to, verbally abused, contacted by the school, talk to Drs, take care of feeding tubes, does meds, try to find answers and PRAY FOR HELP...I feel like I am completely stuck in quick sand and everyone around me just expects that it will all be fine...its Dani she can do it...but I am tired...and I am alone.

My friends who I want so badly to come closer have seemed to want to give me space...I am alone

Trust me when I say I KNOW that I am not truly ALONE just feel so so alone...and I cannot even say what would make a difference.

I do not long for a flood of friends and family to now try...I have learned how to swallow the alone pill and I still very much enjoy my life...

I will enjoy the path with Selah...I will run fast and hard to help all my children even if when I reach the end I am still alone...