Clarification...

I feel the need to clarify some of my recent activity on my facebook page. I have been a bit more transparent about my children and our lives together as a family. I think that I am comfortable sharing all the crap now because Truth is officially ours and the fear that someone will stop that adoption is gone!

Here it goes...

The recent behavior of my children, unfortunately, is my normal...It is COMPLETELY NORMAL, like everyday morning to night does not skip a day normal for the following things.

-At least a few times a day I am in one way shape or form physically hurt during the day, that may look like being punched, kicked, bit, slapped, pushed, or just plain beaten (and yes I can say beaten bc over the years I have been sent to the hospital about 5 times from the physical abuse of my children)...This has made me a STRONG woman, physically and mentally, becuase not only can I still handle my 50lber I KNOW that they do not mean to hurt mommy, they are coming from a place of deep pain and do not know how to handle that yet.

-At least once an hour I am reminded that my children hate me, want to kill me, I am told details of how to plan to hurt me, I am called a bully, told I don't care, that they wish I would leave, that I am not fair, and somethings I cannot bring myself to type...This has given me an amazing ability not to believe in Satans lies! My God LOVES these children and they love their mommy enough to trust that I am NOT going ANYWHERE so they can treat me like dirt.

-I am very comfrotable with having prifessionals in my home at all hours of the day or night! Right now we are at an all time low with therapy hours (all combined) being only about 40 hours a week! I have been analysed FOR YEARS to see if any piece of my parenting may be causing my children to have their struggles and FOR YEARS I have passed all the tests and been told that I couldn't do any better with my children!...This has shown me that God gave me excatly who I was ment to parent, not any more not any less, In all honesty I WISH that is was my fault somehow so that I could change something that would help my children!

-A few times a week I am reminded that school, church, and society truly does NOT understand the effects of trauma on a child...This has pushed me to become a fierce advocate for my children! Do not tell me that you are not willing to help a Fasnacht, this mommy bear is ready ;)

So here are some important things to know about my children...
-They do not have typical responses to changes within our family...
-They are amazing caring, loving children...
-They each have a unique struggle (which I believe will be an incrediable strength as they grow!)...
-They do not intend to harm others...
-They LOVE Jesus!...

So when the outside world wants to try to "fix" my children and find "reasons" to their behavior...this is nothing new for us! This is an everyday, all day battle with sin that we are fighting together as a family!...The childrens behavior is not any worse because Selah has a feeding tube or Truth is soon to come home they have not had an increase in behavior with Ryan out of the country...There has just been an increase in sharing with full transparency what our current struggles have been.

As I said before I KNOW for a fact that my childrens challenges NOW will lead to incrediable strength later in their lives! I have met very few children with as much fight as my children, as adults they will be completely unstoppable! I pray often that they will use this inside fire for good and to show the amazing love and forgivness of Jesus!!!!!