In response to my last post I received a very honest response. I would like to share the core of the message and my response. This is a true friend in that she was not afraid to have a different viewpoint than myself...
She starts off by referring to a comment I made about not being able to adopt domestically (not through foster care) because of not wanting to separate a child from their biological parent...That comment is very true to my feelings on domestic adoption there are so many programs available in the united states to help aid keeping families together that I cannot personally adopt this way (BUT IF GOD WERE TO MOVE MY HEART IT WOULD BE MOVED!). I also want to add that I in no way believe that a child should ever be in a family and not be safe...
here is the heart of her message...
"....the biggest question i confronted is why am i not willing to spend $20,000 to keep a family together....but i will spend that much to basically buy a child......most of these international children are abandoned due simply to poverty....and i had to ask myself am i perpetuating the problem of abandoned children....with me and my white American privilege and money...swooping in.. bringing a child to my land of milk and honey...why don't i help the child..the family.. where they are at?........i am not talking about "true" orphans.......i have also discovered in blog world the voice of the twenty something trans-racially adopted Koreans......and they have a lot to say......especially about "saving" a child...i admire your passion for adoption......i would assume you would hope there comes a time when every child can be with a family.......i just wish the church and Christians would be as passionate about keeping families together instead of coordinating efforts to buy into the billion dollar business that adoption really is.....i am not against adoption but i stop myself before i start saying things like God adopted us so He must love adoption......i saw God in our adoptions....but i also saw the world influence......for all i know my daughter was stolen from her mother to bring money to an orphanage...what other daughters and sons will be stolen because of my American money ...and i could go on and on about the questions that haunt me.....i write to you because i wish someone would have asked me the same questions years ago and taught me the history behind international adoption...... "
I think that she raises VERY good points...those of us who have adopted are we willing to go the next step in supporting families? Those who are not interested in adoption...are you interested in families?
Here is my response...
"Thank you for your honesty!!! I must admit that your viewpoint is what has kept us from being interested in international adoptions! I have always and still feel that a child should be kept in his or her biological family and within their culture if at all possible. I questioned God on this for a long while after we felt his promoting to adopt from Ethiopia. I have researched as much as I was able the different agencies...and the one we are with puts bio and community first and looks for homes only when all other options have been exhausted...now I know it is always hard to know what is truth but I have to follow where God leads. We are being considered for a child with HIV...and in most of those cases the majority of the family is either too ill or has passed away due to Aids. I still feel VERY strongly about not being able to do a domestic adoption (other then foster to adopt) due to the accessibility of resources in the US for families. I love you questioning the thought behind spending so much to add a child but not spending that to keep a family together...as I ponder the same though I have to say that I am positive that once our adoption would be funded..and debts paid (from contested adoption)...I am sure that we would be more then willing to spend every penny again to help keep families together either through local protective programs or through international opportunities or even supporting the adoptions of children into their families out of orphanages. Also if God leads us down this path to "Truth" to reveal a larger picture...the need to aid in country, maybe older siblings that cannot be adopted but need $$ help to be able to live, medical aid for other children we may meet in our journeys, or even a truer love for a distant place that we may one day call home...I am open and willing to travel as far as God leads and stop when I see the stop sign."
Again I say...WE NEED TO FOLLOW GOD IN EVERYTHING!!!
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