ENT

This morning we experienced the need for patience, which God has been teaching over the past few years. Truths specialist appointment was scheduled (which we have learned does not really mean scheduled) at 8:30 we were to be picked up a 8 haha...our ride showed up around 9:15. Though the wait was worth it TRUTH came in through the guest house door full of JOY...she stopped for a moment and then ran to Ryan again with that "only for Daddy grin" that she seems to have! We loaded into the van together and began a long journey to the ENT...

At the ENT we were the only white folks to be seen...and EVERYBODY was staring at the little lady clung to our side ;)...We met a beautiful little girl with a spirit just like Selahs! This little girl kept blowing us kisses and grinning it warmed my heart.

During the test the WACAP nanny kept "translating" what the tech doing the test was saying. The nanny assured us that shewashearing fine and she passed the test. Though Truth was a very good girl and sat very still during the test the results were not great. We were able to speak t the actual Dr who reviewed the results and told us that she has 55% hearing loss in her right ear and 48% hearing loss in her left ear. He believes this is due to her ear drums rupturing from un treated ear infections when younger. He said she will need surgery and sone form of hearing aids. Then he looked at us and said "so do you think you will still take her"...honestly can you believe that the staff here from WACAP and the ENT were worried that we would not be interested in adopting Truth due to having hearing loss! We assured him that the results were fine and that shewashearing daughter...that we have an ENT in the States who will be monitoring her and will perform any needed surgery.

What kind of world is this that two grown men would worry that due to hearing loss a family would not adopt a child? Sadly this is all too true! Kids such as Truth sit on waiting child lists for YEARS and many age out never having experienced the love of a family...so sad that we as a people allow things such as hearing loss, heart defect, drug exposure, HIV to stop us from reading a child's profile, even sadder when a person says that they are not called to adopt. I do not believe that everyone needes to adopt but I do believe that everyone needs to care for those in need! Wether that be your next door neighbor or the little boy you sponsor through compassion BUT do this with your whole heart and with a joyfilled attitude!

Day one...

Today was one if the most incredible days that I will ever have the privilege of experiencing. Meeting an already grown child that God is in trusting me to mother was slightly intimidating...and extremely exciting! Traveling to Ethiopia was easy enough as soon as we stepped into the plane we pretended like we were already in Ethiopia and went off there time...we s basically ate and slept the entire flight  (after they decided the plane that is). Landing we were through the airport and greeted by a wonderful driver holding a sign that said "WACAP Fasnacht"...we were checked into the guest house and spoke to the WACAP employee who said he would pick us up at 2:30 to go see our DAUTHER!!! So we took a nap ;)

Riding over in the hot van that smelled of Ethiopian money, food, and people I tried as hard as I could to take in the environment that we were driving through and not wish the moments away...as we approached the gate to the transition home it took all my self control not to start bawling like a baby! We were takin into a waiting room with some toys a couch a mattress in the floor and a small tv. This is where we were to meet our daughter this was to be where that moment would take place that would forever change my entire family! Then it happened Truth walked in and basically ran into Ryan's arms!!! She embraced him so long and so fully everything about her screamed I want you I need you daddy!! She then turned and grinned a huge grin at me and I got to embrace the child that I have prayed for for years!

We visited with her for about two hours during that time we looked at a lot of pictures...she ran from the room we were in and returned a minute later with the photo album that I had sent for her she then would look form my pictures to hers and repeat as I said each of her BROTHERS and SISTERS names her accent with our words is so sweet it could melt even the hardest hearts! She loved the iPad and all the silly games! She also loved playing volley ball with Ryan! I have the cutest video of them  playing together! We did a puzzle and she beat us both at connect four LOL her version anyway ;).

Leaving was bitter sweet you could see the light dim a bit in her eyes and the questions danced across  her face will they really return? Are they really mine? Is it ok to be happy? It is ok to be sad?

I pray for all my children tonight that they now just how much they are loved by not only us but our Father in Heaven! Only through Gods Great plan did we arrive here when we did and how we did! All thanks and glory belong to Him!

One Thing...

Recently I have seen some minor shock when people have seen my daughter Truth for the first time. To sum these experiences up I think many of my friends have expected her to be younger. So to be more clear our daughter is somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13 her current birthday (the one used at court) is January 1 2001 which would age her at 12. When we started on this road to Truth our first thought was that the child that God had for us may be between the ages of 3 and 7 BUT God had a much different much better plan in place for our family! We gave our specifics to our adoption social worker and the SAME WEEK were matched with Truth. The phone call was a little like this..."Danielle I have a child that we feel would be a great match for your family, you need to keep an open mind though because she is a bit older then what you has asked for...she is 9"...then Patty went on to explain that WAY BACK when I had called and inquired about the Ethiopia program through WACAP the program director had flagged this little girl FOR US that if we would pass all the checks and she would still be waiting then they would present her to us!!!! If that is not the hand of God in this I don't know what is.

Most people can relate to the excitement of bringing home a newborn or infant even a toddler. There are so many first that you can experience, you get to mold and shape them from the beginning  I believe it is harder for most people to put themselves in my shoes and share in my excitement . I in total honestly almost feel more humbled that God is trusting me with an already formed child! I don't get much say in her personality, I missed all her firsts, I missed the tiny toes and giving her a bath BUT I have NOT missed the most important part of being a parent. 

What is the most important part of being a parent? In my opinion it is not building their self esteem, insuring that they have worldly things, that they do well in school or sports, or that they have the "best" of everything because you can have it all and yet miss so much! In my opinion the very most important part of being a parent is teaching them HOW MUCH they are LOVED BY JESUS! The world is a painful place and the only TRUE WAY to find peace and healing is through the faith that no matter what Jesus is here and will NEVER walk away...and it is NEVER too late to teach this. So yes I missed most of her childhood but I get to experience the BEST part of being her parent!

The song "One Thing Remains"...sums it up really well :)

The Burn...

As we share our joy and excitement over the timely court hearing for our daughter in Ethiopia I do not want anyone to miss the extreme pain that her "house mom" or "Mommy" is facing. I imagine that Truth's current mommy has such mixed emotions about her adoption! She has know this day would come and she had thought that she had a month to say goodbye...then in our joy filled moment her world was crushed, the 37 days that she had to say goodbye just flew out the window. She now only has a day or two until she has to say goodbye for what may be forever! Mommy who has loved this child as her own for over 3 years is having to release her into someone else's care, to be adopted by someone she has never met and will never truly know. I imagine that her joy and grief are so mixed together that she honestly could not pull them apart if she tried. I have to admit that my joy is so mixed with the burn of pain for her that I am overwhelmed. I have been near tears for the last two days I just feel for this Mommy!

I ask that my friends and family join together with me to be praying and praying for every part of Truth's adoption BUT right now PLEASE PRAY for her "Mommy" pray for peace, love, understanding, pray that she knows Jesus and can place her trust in Him pray that her void is filled with the knowledge that Truth will be cared for and loved! Pray that she is able to hug, cuddle, love on Truth as much as possible until she is to move to the transition home.

Remember that no matter how long a "Mommy" cares for a child their love will last their lifetime...please just pray!

In a nut shell...

Our Journey to Truth (in a nut shell)...

In August of 2010 Ryan threw me a curve ball. He tole me one day after church that God told him to go to Ethiopia and bring his daughter home. Knowing my Husband this is HUGE Ryan BELIEVING that GOD SPOKE TO HIM!!! I had thought that we were "taking a break" and maybe would parent more children in the future. We started to research agencies and found that WACAP was the only agency that lined up with what we were looking for. One of our key questions had been "what would happen if we were matched and then became pregnant?" WACAPs response was that it would be up to us if we continued with the match (we were sold). Everything went SO FAST!!!...

November 2010...sent in application to WACAP and started Homestudy

Ryan drops another bomb that he believes that it is to be TWO girls!!!!!!!!

December 2010..."approval" of application to WACAP
February 2011...Homestudy is completed and sent to WACAP (for 2 girls)
Early March 2011..WACAP decides they will only allow 1 girl
March 29 2011...Introduction phone call from WACAP...during this phone call we expressed our desires for the age and situation of our daughter.
April 1 2011...WE ARE MATCHED!!!
June 1 2011...WE ARE PREGNANT...

LOL so there will be 2 girls ;)

August 2011...WACAP stopped our adoption due to our pregnancy
January 2012...Selah is Born!!!
February 2012...I e-mail WACAP about Truth ;)...they respond that we need to wait 6 months from Selah's birth (which would be July)
June 2012...I e-mailed again ;) asking if I could at least start the paperwork that would be needed to BRING TRUTH HOME
June 2012...WACAP said YES!!

PAPERWORK...$$$...Homestudy...$$$...

October 2012... Re-matched with TRUTH
January 23 2013...SUBMITTED TO COURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Upcoming...
March 29 2013...Truth's court date

To clarify in Ethiopia there are multiple things that need to happen before a child can be adopted. First there is a whole gathering of documents and getting things ready. There then has to be a court date (March 29, 2012) on this date it has to be proven that Truth is an orphan and "needs" to be adopted. On the day of that court date or soon after the court will assign a date for Ryan and I to attend to adopt Truth!...

I hope that this catches anyone up to speed that may just to joining us :) We are open to questions!!!

Beauty in the waiting...

I am finding, through this journey to Truth that there is true beauty in the waiting. We first laid eyes on our daughter April 1 2010 it has been almost 2 years that I have been over the top in love with this child I have yet to meet. God has been able to show me many things in this period of waiting such as a new appreciation for my friends and family who are waiting with me coming along side us through monetary donations to ensure that we can BRING TRUTH HOME. I have learned better how to parent my 5 children, how to truly believe that time with others is so much more important then a tide house, that cereal is an acceptable dinner, to relax. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is absolutely necessary for Truth to remain in Ethiopia as long as she safely can. She is with very loving and caring house mothers and a bunch of amazing children she has grown to love and trust. Taking her from that is going to cause pain beyond our understanding! I feel blessed to be waiting...because now that Truth is "marked" as ours her wait has ended. Though she may not know it yet it is our time to wait she HAS a family no matter how long it takes for her to be here physically with us!! I carry the burden of waiting with great joy knowing that my DAUGHTER is at the other end!!!

We received news today that the court system has once again changed and that our travel will now most likely not happen until late April or Early May. I was first hit with sadness and a slight feeling of loss BUT then I looked to where my strength comes from and was reminded that Truth NEEDS every minute, hour, day, week, month that she can get in Ethiopia before she becomes a Fasnacht and I NEED to want that for her! It is beyond selfish of me to rush her time with everyone that she knows and trusts. So I am boldly saying that I am MORE THEN WILLING to wait for my daughter!

During this extra time I will enjoy crafting more items to help BRING TRUTH HOME. We will complete the basement, decorate Truths room, enjoy the time, and not wish a day away :)

We ask for continued prayers for everyone who comes into contact with any part of this adoption!!! WACAP already knows us ;) and we pray that others will know us to for being that family WILLING TO WAIT on God's perfect timing!!! Truth is an amazing little lady we are sure of that!

Are you positive...

A question was asked of me recently..."ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO ADOPT "TRUTH""??? My response was "Yes we are positive..." From fall 2010 when God told Ryan to "Bring your daughter home from Ethiopia" we have been on a journey to Truth. There have been many bumps and for a time we thought that Truth may be a different child then the one we were matched with in the first place...but after almost a year of "waiting" after becoming pregnant Truth was still there waiting, needing a family. I was positive that if it were Gods will to bring Truth home then he would lay it on Ryan's heart again so I waited (and waited and waited) and finally Ryan says to me randomly "we would never have an abortion would we?" I believe I just looked at him and he continued with "then how can WE stop our adoption" and we were positive again and started to process when Selah was 5 months old. We are positive that this little lady may NOT want a family, we are positive that bringing home a 12 year old girl is going to be beyond challenging, We are positive that she will use the famous "you are not my mother/father/brother/sister/family" lines, We are positive that she WILL long to return to Ethiopia, We are positive that we have a long road ahead, We are positive that we already have a great therapy team ready and waiting on Truth (Drs, therapists, counselors, friends, neighbors, family), We are positive that we love this child no matter if she loves us back, We positive that the pieces of joy are worth the struggle, and WE ARE POSITIVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT JESUS IS HERE/THERE/EVERYWHERE WITH US!!!! This question was asked of me out of a very sad very hurt place but I appreciate it. I appreciate that this friend took the time to ask and make sure that we are prepared for the worst BUT looking forward to the best :).