This is not what you think it is...this is not a special post about how wonderful it is that I will be picking up Truth in the am...this is not a post about the emotional ups and downs that I have felt making it this far...This is a post about a true struggle that I am having here. Now. With myself...
I am struggling with not being angry...at who...at you. Harsh, I am aware! I am angry that I have friends who seem to value things more then people...yes you the one saying no I don't...I am angry that I value things more then people. "But Dani you are amazing and you adopted so many kids with so many needs" I know but that is not enough. It is not enough that we do nice things, adopt cute kids, give tiny bits of money, SHOW OFF ON FB the tiny things that we do. I am guilty of it too don't worry I am not judging anyONE specific but I am angry at us all. Yes I more then likely am experiencing this because outside my window there are people starving, let that sink in PEOPLE ARE STARVING...get it? When is the last time that you were actually STARVING? Not hungry...I mean you don't know where the next meal is coming from , NOTHING on reserve type of starving? If you are reading this and you HAVE experienced this then I am so very sorry! Sorry I was too self centered to see your need! For my friends who say "Dani we honestly do not have ANY extra!"...do you EVER eat out? Do you EVER eat more then needed? Ever throw food away? Do you own more then one shirt, pair of pants, pair of shoes, car, house? Do your children play sports?...um extra.
The other evening I had coffee with someone who I have quickly fallen in love with! During our chatting she told me a story of a church in Haiti (you know that place that you feel sorry for so you send some money every now and then) where the paster will close the doors and say "you are not leaving until we have enough money to cover this need"...he has also said things like "if you have two coats go and sell one"...this church in Haiti is sacrificing, not the kind of sacrificing that sponsoring one child does...the kind of sacrifice that hurts, that they feel daily, and that LEADS THEM TO TURN TO THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN TRULY PROVIDE FOR US!!!!!!!!
Wow do I feel selfish! ALL 6 of my children have TOO much! Ryan and I have more then necessary!!!! We have a large tv, nice home, and two cars!!!!! I am NOT saying the God is asking us to all live in poverty!! But I am implying that we are too selfish! I am also NOT saying that all of my friends need to run out and adopt! What I am saying is that we NEED to care for others sacrificially .that may look like sponsoring multiple children and not having cable, that may look like doing without your daily coffee to buy a well of clean water somewhere in the world, it may look more radical for you...like doing with one car, one tv, one computer...hehe or no tv (did I really just say that! I LOVE TV...oh and FB)
So friends please...give more then you have...let yourself be uncomfortable...allow your children to miss the next big thing...and yield the amazing joy that ONLY comes to those who LIVE IN HIM!!